Home Grown Thoughts

I had the opportunity to give a talk in Relief Society.

The subject that was given to me was

Facing Challenges in raising Children,

also

How to handle them with Love.

I laugh at her when she gave this talk to me, and then thought "this will be a great reminder or maybe a start for me.

Here are some key points

Now this is not all of my talk I didn't want to bore you all with it.

1. Our communication

Our Communications reflect in our countenance. Therefore, we must be careful not only what we communicate, but also how we do so. Souls can be strengthened or shattered by the message and the manner in which we communicate.

2. Personal Revelation

Personal revelations Sisters can help create strong homes and families as they act on personal revelation. “The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life,”Sister Beck continued. “Qualifying for the Lord’s Spirit begins with a desire for that Spirit and implies a certain degree of worthiness. Keeping the commandments, repenting, and renewing covenants made at baptism lead to the blessing of always having the Lord’s Spirit with us. Making and keeping temple covenants also adds spiritual strength and power to a woman’s life. Many answers to difficult questions are found by reading the scriptures because the scriptures are an aid to revelation. … Daily prayer is essential to having the Lord’s Spirit with us.”1

3. Be a good Example

If each and every one of us who are parents will reflect upon the responsibilities devolving upon us, we shall come to the conclusion that we should never permit ourselves to do anything that we are not willing to see our children do. We should set them an example that we wish them to imitate.” (Journal of Discourses, 14:192.) L Tom Perry

4.We can do hard things

Uchtdorf said Forget not to be patient with your self. Stop comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does. Remember we to are learning how to become better parents. And yes things are tough “ but we can do hard things.

5.Be Patients

A celestial home is difficult to achieve in this world, particularly at this time. It requires that we know what we are aiming for and then that we toil endlessly toward that target, Remember we must keep our sights on heaven and remind ourselves constantly that our goal is a celestial home—and that although all the powers of confusion and darkness gather against us, they shall not prevail. With our own best efforts and the blessings of the Lord we cannot fail.

6. Discipline with love

Sisters remember to counsel with the lord as will as with your husband. It is important in disciplining and teaching children that the parents be unified. Whether your style is strict or permissive is not as important as that the discipline is “consistent.” Both parents coming from different family systems will find this consistency often difficult to generate. Parents need to support each other and come to some agreements on how severe and how discipline is to be carried out. Inconsistency, leads to confusion for the child and they quickly learn to run from one parent to the other to get what they want. They quickly learn to manage their parents. This often leads to contention in the marriage, as one parent will feel unsupported and let down and both parents are often frustrated. Learning to be consistent and unified in correcting our children is not easy, but an important necessity in order for our children to grow into righteous adults. It is essential in your relationship as husband and wife. Remember we are all children of our Heavenly Father and he also chastens all of us on occasion. He is consistent and does not over-react. His corrections, even when firm, are consistent and motivated by His love for us. (D&C 121:43)

If you don't want to read all of it please please read this last part.

We must remember our children are not really ours. They are spirit children of our Heavenly Father. They have his Spiritual DNA and have the potential to become like Him. Let us make sure that we remember who they are and what great potential they possess, as we discipline and nurture them. They are given to us to rear, and nurture and love. Those relationships with them are eternal. Let us be parents and not cheerleaders and coaches, but mentors and teachers filled with charity towards them as we help them become their best possible selves and embellish their talents and personalities. Let us not stifle spiritual growth by over-reacting and becoming tyrants and dictators, but let us be firm, yet loving and building and nurturing, not tearing down and degrading. This is easier said than done. It is not easy when you are sick, tired and stretched to breaking and their behavior is less than perfect and they need correction. It is easier in those moments to command like a policeman or drill sergeant than to act Christ-like with firmness, but full of love and patience. Remember you are talking and interacting with a child of God and you have been trusted with this great stewardship of being their parent.

I'm really glad that I was given this opportunity to study on this topic.

I hoped it helped I know it helped me.